I’m honored to share this guest blog from Dovie Gena, a passionate advocate for emotional and sexual healing. Her message aligns deeply with our mission: to help men feel confident, connected, and fully expressed in their intimacy.
When it comes to conversations about pleasure, men are often left out of the deeper dialogue. Society has long conditioned men to suppress their feelings, disconnect from their vulnerability, and focus on performance over pleasure. This has led to a widespread stigma around male pleasure and emotional needs, leaving many men without the tools or support to fully engage with intimacy in a fulfilling way.
But here’s the truth we need to acknowledge together: male pleasure matters. Emotional needs matter. Breaking free from the constraints of societal stereotypes is not only empowering, but it’s also essential for men to experience authentic connection, joy, and confidence.
Before I dive in to how it’s done, I want to quickly go over what exactly happens when a man practices Lingam Massage.
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Men are often taught that their role in intimacy is about providing and performing. Vulnerability? Emotional depth? Those are too frequently stamped as “weaknesses.” This cultural narrative teaches men to lock away their feelings and desires and to focus on what they do rather than who they are, not to mention what they really want out of sex.
But intimacy is a two-way street, and the pressure to perform denies men the opportunity to truly connect—with their partners and even with themselves. This can lead to disconnection, frustration, and feelings of inadequacy. The cycle keeps going until we do the work to break it.
The concept of immature masculinity refers to the harmful societal norms and stereotypes that pressure men to behave in certain ways. These stereotypes equate masculinity with dominance, stoicism, self-reliance, and emotional withdrawal. Far too often, men are told they must suppress their emotions and project confidence, power, or control at all times.
One of the biggest misconceptions around immature masculinity is that it’s an attack on men themselves. It’s not. Rather, it’s a critique of the systems and beliefs that confine men to rigid, isolating roles. These beliefs can make it difficult for men to feel safe expressing emotions, exploring their desires, or reaching out for help which can be inherently immature for their physical and mental health.
The truth is, emotional vulnerability and openness are not signs of weakness. They are gateways to deeper intimacy, stronger partnerships, and richer personal fulfillment. When men break free from the myths surrounding immature masculinity, they not only gain a sense of freedom but also create the foundation for healthier, more connected relationships, especially with the women and partners in their lives who crave this level of connection.
Here’s one thing many men may not realize: women genuinely value and appreciate emotional depth in their romantic partners. When men are willing to open up within the safety and privacy of their relationships, it strengthens the bond between partners. Women often find deep satisfaction in knowing their partners feel comfortable enough to shed their armor and share their inner worlds.
Opening up emotionally creates a space of trust and shared vulnerability. It’s in these moments that the most profound connections can be built. Men who show their emotional sides often find their partners responding with warmth, understanding, and admiration. It’s a dynamic that fosters greater intimacy in every sense of the word.
Destigmatizing male pleasure starts with reframing how men are allowed to show up, both emotionally and physically. This involves creating a safe, shame-free space for men to explore their desires, communicate their needs, and experience intimacy at its fullest.
Techniques rooted in somatics, EMDR therapy, and relationship coaching can be powerful tools to guide this transformation. Somatic approaches bring awareness to the body and help men tune into both the sensations and emotions that drive their experiences. Through this work, men discover that pleasure is not just about the mechanics of sex but about how connection feels throughout their bodies.
EMDR therapy, often associated with trauma healing, can help release emotional blocks tied to past experiences, allowing men to reclaim emotional freedom and communication in their relationships. And through relationship coaching, men learn to build authentic partnerships based on trust, vulnerability, and collaboration. This healing tool is offered by several of our trusted guides and practitioners in the industry and we would be happy to provide recommendations.
Our work as a men’s sex coach focuses on bringing compassion and expertise to this process of deconstruction and rebuilding. Whether it’s helping men explore physical techniques, unlock emotional barriers, or understand their unique blueprint for pleasure, the coaching relationship is about creating an open, non-judgmental space for change.
For wives, partners, or loved ones who find themselves struggling to support the men in their lives through these challenges, know that you’re not alone. As mentioned above, we work closely with other seasoned practitioners who hold space specifically for women. These coaches help women become allies in this healing process, providing guidance on creating intimate, supportive dynamics that elevate both partners.
If you’re looking for practical steps you can take to start this transformation, consider our course on lingam massage, Pleasure Through Connection. This course offers techniques to women and partners to help the man in your life reconnect with his body and experience deeper pleasure while fostering trust and intimacy.
I also recommend checking out our curated list of products for enhancing your sexual wellness. These tools can complement the emotional and somatic work by creating an environment that feels comfortable, safe, and exciting for exploration.
Destigmatizing male pleasure and emotional needs isn’t just about helping individual men feel better; it’s about reshaping our cultural perceptions around intimacy, masculinity, and connection. It’s about giving men permission to feel, to want, and to explore without shame.
When we give men this space, we all benefit. Relationships become more fulfilling, intimacy more meaningful, and connection more profound. And that is the kind of life-changing transformation we’re here to nurture—for you, for your partner, and for everyone navigating this beautiful, complex thing we call connection.
You don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s guidance for you or your partner, our work is here to support you on the path to a deeper, richer experience of intimacy.
Ready to deepen your emotional and sexual connection? Book a consultation with Caitlin V and her Team or explore our online courses today.
Dovie Gena is a powerhouse in the world of sex-positive transformation, blending 15+ years of luxury event expertise with trauma-informed, somatic sex and relationship coaching. As the founder of Born to Be Wild Lifestyle, she helps women and couples heal, connect, and reclaim their pleasure through immersive experiences that are as safe as they are empowering. With certifications from the Somatica Institute, the American Board of Sexology, and EMDR training, Dovie merges deep psychological insight with her passion for authentic connection—creating spaces where growth, healing, and unapologetic sexuality thrive.
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