Vaginal dryness is more common than you’d think, and there are many reasons people of all ages might experience it. Dealing with this issue can make sex uncomfortable and can lead to sexual health issues like irritation and microtears. It also doesn’t help that there’s a stigma surrounding this topic.
Fortunately, sex toys can help increase arousal, blood flow, and moisture, stimulating natural lubrication and helping you reclaim pleasure. In this article, we’ll explain the causes of vaginal dryness and how sexual stimulation and different types of sex toys can help. We’ll also help you choose the right toys and use them safely, as well as other helpful tips.
Some people think that only older women are subject to experiencing dryness down there, but that’s a myth. Whether it’s due to medications, menopause, hormonal changes, oral contraception, or stress, there are many reasons for dryness. Vaginal dryness and menopause are often linked; when women get older and enter their perimenopausal or menopausal years, estrogen levels decrease. This can result in thinner and drier vaginal walls, as well as reduced natural lubrication.
If you’re wondering, “At what age does a woman stop getting wet?” there’s no set answer for that.
While dryness is more likely to occur after midlife due to this hormonal shift, there’s no set age when a woman stops getting wet – this can happen at any stage of life due to different factors. While it can be frustrating, it’s a completely normal occurrence.
Beyond menopause, medications such as antidepressants, birth control pills, cancer treatments, and antihistamines can all impact moisture and cause hormone-related dryness. Postpartum and breastfeeding bodies experience a decline in estrogen as well, leading to dryness.
If you’re stressed out, anxious, or feeling burned out from work, it’s likely that your body is producing more cortisol and fewer arousal hormones. Not to mention that when you’re stressed out, it’s easy to get in your own head, and that mental block alone can lead to dryness.
Finally, dryness can occur when you’re simply not aroused enough or not including enough foreplay in your routine. Vaginal wetness is often triggered by stimulation, whether it’s mental or physical. If your mind and body aren’t sufficiently aroused, the production of natural lubrication might be reduced, and that’s ok – while we don’t recommend skipping foreplay, lube can be your best friend in this area!
During the arousal process or during sexual stimulation, blood flows to the genitals. This causes the vaginal walls to subtly swell and secrete clear, slippery fluids via surrounding mucous membranes. These membranes contain the Bartholin glands near the entrance of the vagina and the Skene glands, which are closer to the urethra. With the external factors we described above, high stress levels, or a pressure to “perform”, this process is disrupted, and it becomes difficult to go into that arousal mode fully. For this reason, it’s not just pleasure that’s necessary to combat dryness – it’s relaxation and a stress-free mind.
Ambiance, foreplay, and vibrations from toys can all promote circulation and lubrication. They can wake up areas that are less responsive due to a range of factors as we mentioned above. The suction or vibration from sex toys triggers the body’s lubrication response. They make it easier to get turned on and sustain that arousal, training your body to be more sensitive and responsive to external stimuli. Certain toys can also strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which are important for vaginal health. A stronger pelvic floor means better blood flow, more sensation and sensitivity, and stronger orgasms.
Using sex toys for vaginal dryness (with a liberal amount of water-based lube applied to them or the genitals) can help ease discomfort and pain during penetration. By reducing friction, it also makes external stimulation more comfortable. Remember only to attempt penetration slowly and gently with toys on low settings, gradually working your way up in size or intensity if desired. Silicone toys are the softest option, and lube is mandatory if you’re experiencing dryness since it can boost sensation and make room for pleasure.
Vibrators: Vibrators like wand massagers, bullets, or G-spot toys can aid in stimulation. Internal vibrators can warm up and gently stretch the vaginal canal, stimulating the G-spot, while external toys can stimulate various parts of the vulva. These toys can also be used on erogenous zones like the nipples and perineum.
Dilators & Kegel Balls: Dilators are used to gently stretch and increase comfort with penetration and reduce pain for menopausal or postpartum bodies, as well as people dealing with conditions like vaginismus or vulvodynia. Kegel balls can help strengthen pelvic floor muscles, which will improve blood flow and, hence, will work in improving vaginal lubrication.
Air Pulse Stimulators: If you’re not into penetration or find vibrators too intense, consider an air suction toy, which is non-invasive since it stimulates the clitoris without direct contact and friction. Perfect for sensitive bodies, these toys stimulate oral sex and many users report that they get turned on more quickly than with traditional vibrators, even without direct touch.
Warming or Moisturizing Toys: Some toys have built-in heating functions and warm-up. If you don’t have a toy with warming tech, you can place a stainless steel or borosilicate glass toy in warm water. Some toys also have built-in lube-dispensing functions, namely “squirting” dildos that can add vaginal moisturization.
When combating dryness and bringing pleasure back into your routine, safety comes first. Using lube is a non-negotiable, but the type of lube you choose is important if you want to preserve the quality of your sex toys. With silicone sex toys, always use a water-based lubricant, which is also more delicate on sensitive skin. When using pleasure products, start slowly. Begin with gentle external stimulation. As you continue to get aroused, you can amp up the settings or insert a penetrative toy, but be sure you apply liberal amounts of lube to both the toy and the vaginal entrance.
When you’re done using your toys, wash them with soap and warm water or use a toy cleaner. Dry it with a clean towel or paper towel before storing it in a dedicated spot where it can stay free of bacteria and keep your body free of infections. If vaginal dryness continues even with the use of sex toys and lube, you can speak to a doctor who can make suggestions about treatment options or refer you to a specialist. There are some prescription vaginal moisturizers designed for this purpose that can complement your pleasure routine with sex toys.
Lifestyle has more of an impact on intimate wellness than you’d think, and the food and drinks you consume can impact moisture levels. Drink plenty of water and introduce omega-3 fatty acids into your diet to keep your mucous membranes healthy. Soy products and supplements or foods rich in vitamin E and zinc can also support hormonal balance. A diet high in caffeine, processed food, and alcohol may lead to further dryness and irritation. There are also OTC vaginal moisturizers like Replens and special lubricants that hydrate vaginal tissue more intensely over the long term.
If you have low estrogen levels, there are a few options to consider. Certain rings, creams, suppositories, and tablets can deliver low-dose estrogen to vaginal tissues. For those who prefer a natural alternative, there are hormone-free options like black cohosh and red clover. Whichever method you choose, consult a doctor beforehand.
Finally: the more sexual activity you have (with proper preparation), the healthier your vaginal will be. Solo or partnered play can increase blood flow, elasticity, and natural lubrication. Orgasming leads to contractions, which keep tissue oxygenated, and non-penetrative play counts. Still, this process should be empowering rather than feeling like pressure, so approach it on your own terms.
If you’re experiencing dryness, don’t lose hope! Prioritizing pleasure and implementing sex toys, lube, vaginal dryness treatment, and lifestyle changes can make a major difference in your life. The process of arousal alone has so many benefits. When you add in penetrative and non-penetrative toys that increase elasticity, blood flow, and natural lubrication, those benefits increase tenfold.
Everyone’s body is different, so explore at your own pace and comfort level. If lifestyle changes, sex toys ,and lube aren’t enough, don’t be afraid to explore other treatment options and speak to a healthcare professional to determine the right course of action.
Explore clitoral suction toys, external vibrators, and G-spot stimulators to empower yourself and start dealing with dryness today.
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