Your sex life is a place where you can explore, get creative, and be playful in the pursuit of new levels of pleasure. For those who like to literally switch things up, role-playing can be an incredibly hot way to spice up your sex life.

One survey in the U.S. found that up to 22% of respondents said they had participated in role play at one point in their lives. Granted, this is just one study. We wouldn’t be surprised if this number is actually much higher. It also doesn’t take into account people who are interested in role-play but haven’t yet tried it.

Does that sound like you?

We got it, role play can be intimidating. But with anything new, sometimes you just need the right guidance to help get you started. The team here at LELO are here to be your guide.

Role-playing with a partner can be a great way to tap into sexual desires and fantasies. Role play gives you the opportunity to be anyone you want – it’s liberating for both partners (or more). You might feel a bit silly. But if that’s the worst that can happen, then there’s certainly no reason not to try!

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Pick Your Persona

Most role-play fantasies tend to fall under a general theme, that’s probably something that you’re into and your normal life or something that makes you feel powerful or turned on.

If you’re a Game of Thrones fanatic or are into all things fantasy, then you might want to explore dressing up as a sexy fairy or using smutty magic in your dirty talk.

Sports fan? Bring that fantasy league to life by breaking out the sports gear and getting creative with whatever props are involved and said sport.

Roleplay can also just mean pretending to be a completely different person. That could mean donning a wig, making up a backstory, and pretending to meet your partner out at a bar with your sexy personas.

The most popular sensual role-play scenarios out there include Doctor/Patient, Delivery person/Stay-at-home Spouse, Master of the House/French Maid, Professor/Student – see a pattern here? These are all dynamics we encounter in our lives (bar one, unless you’ve got a French Maid in your employ), so they’re a great place to start.

Communicate with Your Partner

If roleplay is new for you and your partner, it can be a little nerve-wracking at first. Especially if you haven’t yet told your partner that you want to try it. Sex is all about communication, especially when you’re trying something new.

Your partner will likely be really into it, maybe they’ve been wanting to try role play too but they just haven’t had the courage to tell you yet. More people than not are usually receptive to this kind of vibe, especially if you’re already pretty sexually compatible. This can be a sexy conversation in itself!

Here are some ways to break the ice:

“I’ve been fantasizing about pretending to be a ____ and would love to try it out with you.”
“I’ve been imagining you in a ____ costume and you look so sexy.”
“I’m really turned on by the energy of ____ and would love to role-play it sometime.”

If you’re not sure if your partner is into role play, consider stepping into someone else’s shoes all by yourself and showing your partner how it can change the dynamic in your lovemaking. Be whoever you like – as long as it’s someone else; a sexy stripper or a naughty neighbor, and see where your performance leads you.

The element of surprise can be super sexy. Just make sure it doesn’t cross any lines of consent if you’re trying it without them knowing ahead of time!

Get Your Gear

Luckily, we all possess the most important component for some sexy role-playing, which is a healthy imagination. Costumes and props can add to the experience but are not completely necessary – as with many things, it’s the story that counts. Sometimes with sexy scenarios, the simpler, the better.

A great way to ease into role-play is to go to a costume/sex store with your partner to get some inspiration about what turns you both on in the realm of role-play. But you can also make do with anything you have at home like office supplies for a school/work fantasy and old boxes you have lying around for those who are into the delivery driver!

The over-eager massage therapist is a super hot dynamic, and one you can easily get started with. This full-body massage candle is made of natural oils, shea butter, and other nourishing ingredients. Not only is the oil from this candle the ultimate moisturizer, but it’s chemical and wax-free. Perfect for giving a sexy “full-body” rub down! It’s also a great way to explore temperature and wax play!

Set Boundaries

Since role play is a type of kink, it’s important to set boundaries so that everyone feels safe and comfortable with the experience. That means having a conversation where you discuss boundaries, safe words, and practicing aftercare.

Respect, consent, and communication are all essential, even if (especially if) the fantasies you’re playing out might be a bit more rough or in the BDSM realm.

If your partner wants to try role play but you’re not so into it (or aren’t sure if you’re into it), discuss if there’s a type of role play that feels more approachable for you that can help push your comfort zone a teeny bit – without going completely outside of it. You may surprise yourself!

Have Fun with It!

Role play, like sex in general, can be silly and awkward at times. It’s part of being human and trying something new. That’s why having a sense of humor is essential when you’re exploring role play. Meeting any awkwardness without judgment and the ability to laugh it off is not only key to more enjoyable and passionate sex, but to a strong relationship too.

Still scratching your head when it comes to further ways to add some sauciness to your sex life? Try wearing this remote controlled bullet vibe the LYLA 2 or our remote-controlled pleasure HULA Beads on a night out and halfway through the evening let your partner in on the secret too – they’ll be able to drop in that role play fantasy right away. As soon as they’re able to pick their jaw up off the floor that is.

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